Life has its ups and downs. The problem with humans is that we tend to expect more ups but has the tendency to worsen things when it’s down. That’s what happened to my marriage of 12 years with the person I loved so much but cannot seem to be as perfect as I’ve always worked on.

Wabi-Sabi

I learned about wabi-sabi as I was looking up on ways to improve relationships and finding ways to help my partner become a better person. He has these habits that I really cannot stand and have talked about with him for years. Don’t get me wrong because he is a very good person who fulfills his duties as well as a good father to our son.

And that was where I went wrong. The philosophy of wabi-sabi is to learn to accept and love imperfections, just like how masters who will prize every handmade bowl that bears irregular shapes. But no one bowl is the same as the other, making them exceptionally special.

Learned to change my perspective

I realized at that point in life that I had always had my perspective on and never looked at things from the second point of view. I was stoic and did not learn to see the beautiful shape of love my husband has been giving me all those years. I want him to change, but I did not see how to cope with the imperfection he has.

Learned to be accepting

That was the beginning of everything. I decided to look at things a different way and learned to not just know, but understand how his environment and upbringing may have shaped him the way he is. So long as he is not negatively impacting our son, he is the most perfect imperfect man I can ever ask for.